


Eyes You Could Get Lost In.

by adam_idx



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:34:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27207442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adam_idx/pseuds/adam_idx
Summary: It's halfway through the first year at Sina University, and Mikasa is currently in a dead - end relationship with Eren. They'd known each other since childhood, and the last thing that Mikasa would ever want was for Eren to get hurt, that's why she agreed to date him in the first place. Mikasa has just about given up on looking for her missing puzzle place, accepting that it would never be found. That was until Anne Leonhart walked through that door.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Rico Brzenska/Hange Zoë, Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 78





	1. The Eyes.

Mikasa woke up with a jolt next to Eren, who was snoring away on the couch next to her. Last night they had watched a movie together at Eren's apartment, and she had accidentally fallen asleep there. She looked at her phone. 

_8:43, Monday 22nd March_

"Shit", she whispered.

Eren stirred, mumbling something inaudibly. He turned over, pulling the blanket they had been sharing over himself. Mikasa slowly got up, trying her best not to wake the other boy up. She crept around his apartment, looking for her jumper. She eventually gave up and started rummaging around in Eren's wardrobe, finding a black hoodie that fit pretty loosely on her. It would have to do. When she came back into the living room, Eren had woken up and was watching the news. 

> "You seen this Mikasa, Biden's been elected!".

The boy looked over, smiling.

> "really? that's good", she said solemnly.

Mikasa was extremely excited inside, but she didn't like expressing emotions much, instead putting up a brick wall and preventing anyone else from getting inside her head - not even Eren. This brick wall had been slowly building ever since she had watched her parents get killed by an intruder when she was 9. She was now 19, 10 years later, and she would still often wake up in a cold sweat, the images of the events newly burned into her head. The girl walked into the kitchen, and got a bagel out from the cupboard. She started eating it, then walked back out to where the door is.

> "Aw, going so soon Mikasa?" Eren said, walking over to the raven - haired girl.

"Yep, i have an early class today", Eren leaned over and started kissing her neck, "-which, i really _cannot_ be late for", Mikasa finished, pushing Eren off.

She really hated when he did that, just started kissing her and putting his arms on her without asking, but it didn't bother her enough to make her ask him to stop. When they started dating, Mikasa thought that she would be compelled to be attracted to him, but a year in and the feeling still had yet to come to her. The girl had started to wonder if the feeling would ever come. She looked at some of the couples around her, Connie and Sasha for instance, and they jst seemed to have this perfect chemistry. They just _fit_ together, like two puzzle pieces. Eren was supposed to be my missing puzzle piece, but he just _wasn't._ When Mikasa's parents were killed, it was Eren's family who took her in. She's always seen Eren as more of a brother, a brother who needed protecting. For years everyone told them to "hurry up and date already", which got old quick. Mikasa felt like her whole life she was told what to do and what not to do, never fully in control. Either way, Mikasa basically didn't know where she was going in life. She was currently doing a photography course at university, and she was majoring in psychology, so her schedule was pretty full. At the front door was her school bag and camera bag, everything she needed for the day. She waved Eren goodbye, and left the apartment. As she was walking out, Eren's roommate, Jean, walked past, evidently on his way back to the apartment. He had a guilty look on his face, and a woolen jumper that the girl didn't recognise on. Mikasa wondered whose room/house he'd been to last night. She enjoyed looking at people from afar, and making assumptions about their life story, where they're from, if they'd just gotten a divorce etc etc. With the way Jean was looking, she assumed that he'd slept with someone - she didn't know who yet, but no matter what: she would find out.

Mikasa made it to class, 5 minutes before it was supposed to start. She looked around the classroom, seeing who was in her class today. Unusually, her best friend Ymir wasn't in - usually she got here right before the bell. Unless... there was a party? Ymir enjoyed going to Connie and Sasha's stoner parties. It couldn't be that however because Sasha was actually early for once - something that would never happen if there was a party last night. Looking to other corners of the lecture hall, she saw Rico fiddling with Hange's hair, trying to make it a bit less messy. They were both giggling, and Rico eventually gave up. Hange noticed the girl staring at them, and waved with a wide grin. Mikasa waved back, trying for a nice expression. Looking around again, seeing Nanaba in a corner, engrossed in a book while Gelgar talked aimlessly towards her. Towards the front, Bertholdt and Reiner sat, chatting away. Reiner was the last person you'd expect to see in a photography class, since he was a prominent member of the football team, but surprisingly his photos were really good, often being well thought out. It was either that he was goo, or that Betholdt was the mastermind behind the images. A door opened behind Mikasa, and she turned around expecting Ymir to waltz through that door like she always did, however, it was not Ymir, but a small blonde girl with a hoodie of her head. Mikasa stayed turned for a little longer, wanting a better look at this new girl that had appeared, when the blonde girl looked up and directly into Mikasa's eyes. The shorter girl's eyes were a deep grey, and it was as if they bore into your very soul whenever they gazed upon you. Mikasa felt trapped, unable to break away from the gaze. Then suddenly, after what felt like hours, the other girl broke the contact, turning away and going to sit at the front with Reiner and Bertholdt. 

> 


	2. The Party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just writing this for fun lol, didn't actually expect people to read it

Mikasa was sitting at the library, still reeling from her encounter with that girl in her class. She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't even realise Ymir coming up behind her.

"Boo!" Ymir whispered into Mikasa's ear.

"AH!". Mikasa jumped out of her skin, yelling as she did. The librarian shot a dirty look over, and Mikasa slowly sat down in her chair, cursing at Ymir whilst at it. 

"Where the fuck were you! I had to endure a lecture by myself thanks to you!". She punched the taller girl in the arm.

"Hey! I don't think i deserve that. Besides, I had a good reason!". Mikasa rolled her eyes. She already knew the answer, "I was at a party!" Ymir finished.

"Ymir, hun, that ain't gonna cut it anymore. An 'acceptable' reason would be that your dog died - please tell me you at least got laid?".

Ymir smirked. Mikasa's eyes widened.

"Actually Ackerman, I did. It doesn't happen often - but i got lucky this time. Now will you stop shouting at me?"

The other girl pondered it. "Maybe... if you tell me who it was? C'mon, you can trust me." Mikasa pleaded with her eyes, looking the taller girl in the eyes.

"That wouldn't be fair to her Mikasa, she isn't out yet." She glanced at the shorter girl's eyes and sighed. "Fine, she's a cheerleader. That's all you're getting".

"A cheerleader?" Mikasa scoffed. "What kind of cheerleaders go to the parties you do Ymir? Don't they usually just go to the popular ones on the other side of town?"

"First of all, shut up. I can sleep with whoever i want to - and this is coming from the person who sleeps with _Eren Jaeger._ " Mikasa went bright red. "Secondly, i go to the parties where the popular kids go, even Reiner goes! Everyone goes to Connie and Sasha's parties because of their huge mansion that Connie's dad got for him. Speaking of parties... will you go with me tonight?"

"Ymir, you know i don't like those stoner parties you take me to. They make me uncomfortable - Eren can't come either."

Ymir frowned, moving closer to Mikasa.

"Pwetty pwease?" She put her hands together in a prayer - like motion. Mikasa smiled slowly.

"Okay, fine. But please don't ditch me like last time - Connie and Sasha are nice, but being with them when they're high **and** drunk is a bit much for my brain cells to handle."

They both burst into fits of laughter, Ymir almost falling off her chair.

After school Ymir dragged Mikasa to the shopping mall, where the taller girl bought yet another plaid shirt - it was the 9th to be added to the collection. Mikasa looked through the jeans section, and picked out a baggy pair, that hung around her ankles. She bought them, then went outside and waited for the other girl. While waiting she couldn't help wondering if that girl she saw in class was going to be at the party - and she couldn't help but hope that she was. Suddenly, her face started circling her thoughts, and there was nothing else she could think about. Images of her eyes flickered throughout her head, trapping her in place. She couldn't move, her breathing getting more and more rapid. She was brought back to reality by a tap on her shoulder, and Ymir's face directly in front of hers.

Mikasa inhaled sharply. "Ymir! Didn't expect you out here for another hour! How many plaid shirts did you buy?"

The taller girl frowned. "Hey, i only bought two." She saw Mikasa trying not to laugh, and frowned some more, "It's literally not a big deal, it's only two shirts!"

"Out of your collection of ten, Ymir. TEN PLAID SHIRTS, DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A BIT OVERBOARD?"

"You're just jealous because you don't know good fashion." Ymir replied with a smile, strutting off back to her car. "Now hurry or else you're not getting a ride home!"

Mikasa huffed, and hurried after Ymir.

_**Mikasa and Ymir went back to Ymir's house to get changed, they have now arrived at the apartment complex where Connie and Sasha live.** _

"Mansion?" Mikasa said to Ymir as they stood outside the apartment door, waiting to be let in.

"I didn't want to scare you off - when you see it, it might as well be a mansion. They have three bedrooms!" Mikasa threw a disappointed look the other girl's way. This was only to be expected of Ymir at this point. 

"Ugh, let's just get this over and done with. I can't be bothered to get pissed at you anymore."

"You really are so nice Mika. I'm so glad i could have a friend like you!" Ymir said with a smile, and leaned over to hug the shorter girl. She instinctively moved away, avoiding Ymir's grip. 

"You know how i feel about hugs Ymir. Don't even try it."

Ymir hung her head muttering, "she won't even hug me once." Mikasa smiled to herself.

The door finally opened, and the smell of weed and alcohol spilled out, engulfing the two. Mikasa put her hand over her mouth and coughed, struggling to breathe. Ymir seemed unphased, hugging the boy at the door.

"Hey Connie! Looks like you're smoking some serious stuff in here, you got any spare for me and my friend here?" Ymir said, winking at Mikasa.

She began to protest, but Connie had already taken them inside, and passed them both joints along the way.

"Ymir" She whispered."Ymir, i don't wanna smoke this. Where do i put it?"

Ymir looked over cluelessly, a lighter already to her mouth. "Huh? just put it in your mouth and light it Mikasa. It's not that hard. Here, i'll show you." She proceeded to light the joint, and inhaled deeply. "Your go Mika." She passed the lighter over, and Mikasa panicked, so she just did as Ymir told her to. She started coughing, and Ymir and a couple other people started laughing at her. Mikasa went bright red.

"Hey, let's take a break outside dude." Ymir said, guiding her the shorter girl outside. Mikasa graciously nodded, allowing herself to be pulled out of the crowd.

"This is why i hate these parties Ymir, there are too many people in such a small place. I can't deal." She took a long drag on the joint, this time coughing a little bit less.

Ymir looked over, sympathetically. "I mean, you always end up enjoying them, right?"

"I mean, maybe, but it always starts out hell, and that's always the bit i remember the most. Last time you ditched me to hook up with some loser on the cheer leading team, and yesterday you didn't turn up to class for the _same reason._ You're starting to take the piss, don't you think?"

Ymir looked to the ground, unsure of what to say. Finally, she said "I'm sorry, Mika. I'll stop if... if you want me to?"

Mikasa burst into laughter. Ymir looked over, confused. 

"I'm pulling your leg Ymir, i don't care that much, I can't believe i got you though! You should've seen your face."

Ymir didn't laugh, instead punching Mikasa in the arm. "That wasn't funny, i was genuinely concerned there. Idiot." Ymir smirked a little, trying not to show it to the other girl.

"I was kinda serious though, I don't like going to these stupid parties. I don't have many strong feelings, but they're still there." She blew smoke out into the frigid night air, watching it disperse.

"Uhh, hey Ymir, who's this new friend you have?" A voice appeared from behind them.


	3. The Party, Part 2.

"Uhhh, hello Ymir? You deaf or something?"

Both Ymir and Mikasa swivelled around to look at this mysterious voice. Mikasa saw it was a pretty short girl, with long blonde hair and deep, ocean - like eyes. She was smiling in Ymir's direction, which then begged the question: how did she know Ymir? Could it be... no, that was too far fetched. Ymir would never go for a girl like her. Ymir looked around frantically and nervously, not completely sure what was happening yet.

"Uh, Ymir, I think this girl is talking to you. Not sure if you've realised yet?" Mikasa said, awkwardly smiling at Ymir. The taller girl snapped herself out of it, and shakily took a breath.

"Hey, Historia. Long time no see?"

Historia gave a confused look. "Um, dude i literally saw you like ye-"

"-Years ago! Years ago, i saw you years ago. In high school. I saw you in high school." Ymir plastered a grin on her face while Historia stood, looking between Mikasa and Ymir. Something was definitely up. Mikasa narrowed her eyes. Historia still seemed extremely confused, slowly walking over to Ymir. Confidently, she grabbed the joint out of the taller girl's hand, and took a long drag from it. Mikasa was surprised that Ymir didn't burst into a fit of rage when this happened, she only seemed taken aback, but nothing more. Something was 100% up. 

"Soooo, Historia. You go to the local college right?" Mikasa crossed her arms, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, I'm taking an art history course at the moment, and i help out with the cheer squad in my spare time. I live off campus though."

The cheer squad. Art history... suddenly everything fell into place. 

"So what about you? I don't even know your name yet." Historia said, turning to face her.

"I'm Mikasa, I go to the college too. I'm taking a psychology and photography course. Same as Ymir. Although... you probably already know what course she's taking."

The two other girls went bright red, and returned to exchanging turns of smoking the joint. Mikasa smiled to herself, having her suspicions confirmed. She was too good at this type of stuff. Eventually, Ymir flicked the stub of the joint off the balcony.

"I'm going in to get some beer. Wanna come Mikasa?"

"No thanks. I'll just stay out here."

Ymir looked crestfallen, and Historia piped up. "I'll go, Ymir. If... you want me to?"

"S-sure." Ymir stuttered. While they were turning to leave. "Have fun lovebirds!" Mikasa teased after them. "Fuck you Mikasa!" Someone replied.

The girl smiled to herself. They could've at least been a bit more subtle. Even if they were, Mikasa would've known anyway. Over the years, she'd mastered the art of standing back and analysing people, being able to read them after a few days of looking at them. She knew her class pretty well by now, however the new girl not so much. She only had a glimpse, and that glimpse had paralysed her enough that she couldn't focus properly for the rest of the lecture. She couldn't let that happen again. She couldn't allow herself to succumb to such childish and weak feelings. This is not how it worked. Mikasa Ackerman was strong - she controlled herself. Slowly, she felt herself once again building up that wall. Yet another brick was placed. And another. And another. This process happened almost everyday now, any time she lost to those weak emotions of sadness, or childish love, she would place another on the wall. Because she was an Ackerman. Ackermans weren't weak. They forged their own path, independently. Mikasa Ackerman was strong, she controlled herself. It was pathetic - it was pathetic that Mikasa even felt this kind of stuff. It was pathetic. So very pathetic. Mikasa didn't even notice the pain flaring in her right hand as she clenched the joint she was holding, the burning sensation being nulled by the raw feeling of patheticness that filled her body. Everything melted away, and all she could see was darkness. The only thing she was aware of was the disappointing sack of bones she occupied. She had failed. She had given in to everything. There was no point. 

A warm sensation appeared on her arm, and reality returned to Mikasa. She found herself staring into a small, blonde girl's eyes. All of her senses came back, and a sharp burning pain flared up in Mikasa's right hand. She immediately jolted her hand open, the joint falling out of it and onto the ground below. The girl still had her hand on her arm.

"Um, hello? You still with alive in there?" The blonde girl looked genuinely concerned, eyebrows raised, still touching Mikasa's arm. Mikasa pulled her arm away, not in the mood for physical interaction right now. She looked at her palm, then cradled it. The pain was getting more intense, but she still maintained her blank look as she looked back at the girl.

"I think I am. Just, blacked out for a second, that's all. Must be all the weed i've smoked." Mikasa knew full well that this was not the reason, but the girl didn't have to know that. The blonde girl looked down at Mikasa's palm.

"That looks bad. You should run that under some water."

Mikasa shook her head. She was still adjusting to reality. "I don't need to, it'll be fine. Really."

"No, that looks really bad. Come with me, I'll take you to a bathroom."

Mikasa was dragged away by this girl, given no time to react. They snaked around people inside. Mikasa couldn't take anything, only really seeing shapes and colours, and hearing noises and sound but no words. There was too much of everything, and not enough time to register it all. They reached the bathroom, and the girl thrust Mikasa's hand under the tap. She positioned herself on the side of the sink, while Mikasa was left to slowly adjust to her new surroundings. The artificial light hurt her eyes, but it wasn't really the worst situation she could've been in. It was a nice bathroom, for an apartment of this size. Finally, Mikasa looked to the girl and she choked up. It couldn't be... could it? Grey eyes deeper than the ocean stared back at her, and golden hair slightly covering her face. It was. It was her.

"You okay over there? You're not choking are you?" She was looking over with genuine concern, her eyes full.

"Y-Yeah, just a little sh-shaken up. That's a-all." 

The girl smiled back. Instantly, Mikasa's world lit up, colours brightened, and the greyness of it all faded. She never realised how grey it got, until the colour returned, and her world righted itself. She'd started to have these grey epsiodes again once she started college, but the small and simple kind gestures of others usually helped fix it. The grey was worse than the blacking out, because at least when it went black she knew it was happening. When it went grey she never realised. She couldn't do anything.

"I recognise you from class, but i didn't quite catch your name?" The blonde girl inquired.

"I didn't throw it" Mikasa involuntarily replied. It was like a built in response now, she couldn't help it. Notably, the girl started laughing.

"I have got to remember that one! But seriously, what's your name?"

Mikasa swallowed hard. "Mikasa." She muttered.

"Mikasa huh? I like that name. I'm Annie."


End file.
